What is it that makes you happy being in the presence of someone you love? Yes, possibly there are just as many answers as there are people. However there is something fundamentally same underlying all of these answers and without which, it leads to relationship breakdown. Often we hear people in happy relationships say ‘I am able to be myself in my partner’s presence’, or, ‘she or he makes me feel free and whole’, or, ‘I can communicate and express myself and not worry’, and so on. The idea that unites all of these answers is the yearning and excitement for the sense of freedom of self within the individual. Not many people are aware that when someone’s presence invokes a feeling of liberation and expansion in any degree, it attracts them to that person. Connectedness and supportiveness are expressions of freedom only.
Freedom is expressed in many ways. Generally in a romantic and intimate relationship, people love spending time with someone who is able to provide the psychological space for self-expression. Some examples are; having no fear of disparaging criticism, being able to discuss and take collective decisions and having someone to hear you earnestly and empathetically. When two people are in an intimate relationship, they are able to lay aside all their roles that they need to shoulder in daily life and simply communicate from the heart.
Hindu philosophy traditions teach that unconditioned freedom is intrinsic to our true self, our true being. It is our fundamental nature. Naturally we will seek to gravitate towards any relationship and intimacy that we believe can eliminate our sense of limitation expressed physically, psychologically, sexually, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. Relationship creates that channel for sharing between people. Sharing thoughts and emotions are especially important. Self-sharing allows you to expand your inner self and extend beyond the boundaries of the body-mind identity.
Can you imagine a life in which you can never share with anyone your ideas, opinions, feelings and knowledge? It will be dreadful. When two people in a relationship are able to freely share and express their minds, they enjoy the feelings of delight, pleasure and support. The more free you feel with one another, the deeper the bond of relationship becomes. It is therefore highly essential for couples wanting to build better relationships to collectively and mindfully work towards self-freedom in all aspects of their interactions.
Rakesh Nair (Yogi Rakesh) is a Vedic life mentor and teacher. A lifelong practitioner of Vedic philosophy and yoga, he trained for many years in the authentic Vedic tradition, following the lineage of Advaita teachers. He holds a Masters in Sanskrit studies, apart from a degree in Computer Science majoring in Software Engineering. He is the founder of yogirakesh.com. He specialises in connecting ancient Vedic knowledge to the needs of modern life. He currently teaches and mentors people through online classes.